Fast forward two months and the reality of those words really sunk in. Initially only my left hand had been impacted and in just two months it traveled to my right.  My hands just were not working anymore and had no strength in my fingertips.  I was constantly dropping things, I tried to empty a coffee filter into the garbage and it all fell to the floor.  I tried to put things in the refrigerator, would frequently miss and there was another  “clean up on isle 6”.   

It didn’t take long for the next dose of reality, taking care of me became hard.  I started struggling to do my hair, my make up, to get dressed and putting jewelry became next to impossible.  I now have to ask Jim (my husband) to help dress me, as an independent woman who has always taken care of herself, this was a hard and humbling ask.  This will not reverse, this will not get better, this will get more and more humbling for both Jim and I.

This disease didn't stop there.  Anyone who knows me knows my love of cooking.  Cooking for me is love, I show my love through my food.  Now the simple kitchen tasks of chopping, stirring and mixing I cannot do.  I have to use my knuckles or make a fist to keep from cutting myself. What do you take for granted? I cannot wash dishes, I cannot shred a simple piece of lettuce and I have to use my teeth to open a zip lock bag. I tire after just one moderate workout.  Think about that next time you are tempted to complain or miss one of your workouts.  Think of me, find gratitude in the simple tasks, take nothing for granted.

I do not question God, I do not ask why me?  We are all here on borrowed time and I have to trust the path He has me on.  I do not understand this as I have always been active, healthy and eat well.  I’ve had a good life however I am struggling deeply with the thought of leaving Jim.  We travel, we laugh, we eat together, we watch the stars at at night with a glass of wine.  Not being able to care for him like I always have is a hard reality to accept.  Who will cook for him, who will dance with him, who will rock with him? 

I hope in this little peek into my journey helps you understand how difficult and cruel this disease is.  There is so little known about it and there is no cure.  This ALS walk for me is so important because I can still walk and look forward to doing so with my friends & family. I am also walking to change the statistics. To bring help and hope to those living with the disease. To ensure that no one ever hears the words: “You Have ALS” again.

The rest of my story is in God's hands ...